Pre-BD sitch. W is fueled by anger and resentment, 100% blame on me.
Is there *any* value trying to help defuse the anger? And any advice on how to do so?
I read some advice online about showing compassion (the link actually pointed to MWD/WAS). Really hard to see how this could be implemented successfully.
Yes, I get that I am falling into the trap of trying to save my M. I am sensitive to the fact that most people here came post-BD. I also don’t know if it matters that I am pre-BD or not honestly. Maybe the timing matters in making these choices, maybe it doesn’t. Personally I look at BD as a huge mountain to climb for my W - she would not take it lightly.
IDK, 3 weeks ago I would say I desperately needed to save my M or I would fall apart. Today I would say I still fight for my M, knowing full well that it is way more complicated than just my W coming back to me, that I would need to see some changes too. My happiness matters. And also that I look at the alternative as a single dad as a potential path to even greater happiness as well, not a catastrophe. I’m not going to lie... I’m still riding the emotional roller-coaster, but the seats are getting more comfortable.
