Hi AnotherStander, So I have a question about this..... so we've had three of these R talks total. When they happen, she corners me, I don't go looking for it. So when a W blocks a doorway and says "we need to talk", how do you get away or disarm it? The 1st two I was in a closet and she barred the way out. Last night she blocked the doorway to the bedroom. Just say I don't want to talk about it? Move her? I'm still really new to this. I'm not looking to start trouble with her.
Wow, blocking your exit? That's some pretty crazy stuff there. OK so if she corners you then you do two things and two things only- LISTEN and VALIDATE. That's it.
"We need to have a talk."
"OK I'm listening."
"I am sick and tired of this situation, I need out."
"It sounds like you are frustrated, that must be difficult for you."
"I want you OUT and right now. I can't take this pressure anymore. You're trying to manipulate me blah blah blah"
"I am not going anywhere. I would prefer that you stay here and work on the M with me but I understand that is not what you want and I will not stand in your way."
"Great so when are you moving out?"
"As I said I'm not going anywhere."
"THAT IS JUST LIKE YOU, A JERK TO THE END, HOW DARE YOU BLAH BLAH BLAHDY BLAH"
"I am sorry you feel that way, but I will not be disrespected. If you choose to yell then this conversation is over."
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BLAH BLAAAAAAAAAH"
-SF walks out of room silently-
Listen. Validate. Be the rock. Stand firm. Don't get drawn into R conversations.
