A Real Mess Pt.2

[si13]

Y'all are awesome. These are things I've needed to hear.

I wanted to be clear about what I understand from seeing the phone records (although I suspect there's more I don't know ie: believe nothing they do or say).

I only saw this number called and length of calls are 1 minute every time. It looks as if she is either reaching out to then use another method (chat program etc) or is calling a number that called her from where he used to live but she said there's never an answer.

Again I have no reason to believe her AT ALL at this point.

Problem is she has repeatedly said she doesn't want to work on the M, she wants to work on herself.

Well, not like this I won't.

Every time we circle back in conversation about November 2017 and she stated, "I don't want to be married like this" she also claims to be working on herself in IC. Which is a total load of BS.

She won't concede about emotionally being all over the place - she just goes back to blaming me about abuse, I wouldn't let her work on herself, pressure to work on the M and she needed an escape / distraction which was a full blown, guy moved here to bang my wife affair.

I am calmly preparing my heart to stand up for myself. I indicated what she did was absolutely disrespectful.

I now need to keep moving toward that. She may not want to work on the marriage, as she will claim control and it's not giving her the freedom to find her voice.

But I will not be in an open marriage.