So I was drawn into an R discussion tonight with W (which I know is a no-no) but it did have a purpose. I wanted to evaluate where she is, what she's thinking (or thinks she's thinking) and probe by asking open ended questions and waiting. I am lacking information, so an opportunity like this important (like why is she nice still?).
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
First of all you were not "drawn into" an R discussion. How do I know? Because YOU "wanted to evaluate where she is". You are wasting your time and hurting your chances of recon. How? Because you are applying pressure to her at a time she wants ZERO PRESSURE. Your job is to REMOVE all pressure. Every time you apply pressure you set yourself back to square one. So STOP. Whenever you temp check all you're going to hear is how she feels at this very moment in time. It can change tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.You get no useful info out of a temp check other than hearing nothing has changed for her. She may even feel forced to accelerate her plans for S or D.
Hi AnotherStander, So I have a question about this..... so we've had three of these R talks total. When they happen, she corners me, I don't go looking for it. So when a W blocks a doorway and says "we need to talk", how do you get away or disarm it? The 1st two I was in a closet and she barred the way out. Last night she blocked the doorway to the bedroom. Just say I don't want to talk about it? Move her? I'm still really new to this. I'm not looking to start trouble with her.
