so much of what is being said and done here is exactly how my situation played out. The difference being that I knew about OW by then. The phone and the flat are huge red flags. OW or not doesn't really matter at the moment. To me, he's being deceitful.
My gut instinct is that he is being a coward. He wants you to end the M and make the final cut. When he keeps saying he wants a D and doesn't know if he wants to be married, he wants you to say 'well eff off then'
But Dilly you are tormenting yourself. Picking at a scab.
It's a while since I read DB fully but I do think that MWD advises the LRT if Divorce has been filed or one partner has moved out. Are you LRT?
You're still dancing. Trying to make everything right and he's not playing. You're still worrying about what he's doing and saying. He knows 100% that you will do whatever and forgive whatever.
Take a deep breath and a massive step back. He's an intelligent man. If he really wants to look he can see that you have made changes. But he doesn't want to see. He's got his blinkers on.
If and when the blinkers come off then he may show you that he intends to work on a new M. And I mean really show you.
I think you need to stop communicating except for essentials. Give him some space (that also means he doesn't get to rely on you when it suits) and more importantly give yourself some space.
Do whatever it takes to get him out of your head today and then tomorrow and so on.
