I've tried to analyze what this change is.
I think she has more embraced her femininity, softened her approach toward me.
Right or wrong she is the type that when she is happy with you, you can do no wrong. Your transgressions are excused and W sees life in regards to you, through the lens of your advocate. When she loses attraction, you can do no right.
I believe this is a pattern learned from her mother.

A while back, W told me a story about a coworker that played a joke on her. He hid and scared her after she had done the same. This is a coworker that may innocently enough bring her coffee cups when he returns from business trips. They are a small company and I think he brings back gifts for a few people. Anyway, I told her a while back that I didn't want to hear playful stories or see gifts from this guy. After explaining that there was nothing and no reason to be concerned, she agreed. Even seemed understanding.
Fast forward and she tells me this story because I startled D16 and her friend because I happened to be near the front door as they entered. At first, I blew it off.
Next morning, I had a client pull out of a deal and some other bad news and the story of her coworker crept back into my mind. (yea, I know this is not Alpha male stuff). Anyway, I sunk to a dark place. I had a dark cloud over my head like I had not felt before. The violation of the boundary along with the playful nature of her story began to ruminate. Get the picture?
I was in an unusual and uncomfortable place and (right or wrong) decided to share it with her.

I did it in an as un-accusatory way as I was able. Sure there was the accusation of guilt based on the story but not in my tone. W was all ears. She said she was sorry and owned her part. W said she was sorry that I still had these triggers. Remember this is the W that wanted to skip admitting to any plan to restore trust etc. Instead of getting defensive or blaming me for my feelings W was understanding and supportive. This was a major shift.
Later I thank her for her response and even apologized for dumping it on her. She said I wasn't dumping and again she was sorry that I still had these triggers. We hugged.

Anyway, I tell this story because this whole episode seemed counter-productive at the time, yet W response seems like a big advancement. I realize this borders on mindreading but I'm never going to hear the words.


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.