You're right, Dilly. I think what is holding me back is not H or his actions, but my fear. Where I am at the moment is okay. I am happy. I am financially secure. I see H often and while it isn't always easy, we're miles and miles away from how it was in Jan / Feb. I don't really cry anymore. I wouldn't trade the life I am living now for anything, and repairing things with him or divorcing him means a change and I am afraid of change.
This is excellent for me to think about while I am away.
