And other than attempt to frighten and hurt and manipulate you into being quiet and accepting the status quo by telling you he doesn't want to be married anymore (though he quite likes having a wife when it suits him, doesn't he) did he give any reasonable explanation for his second phone, you not being allowed in his flat, etc? Did you get any new information, or did he just push you away again?
Perhaps a good boundary going forward would be to mirror the levels of intimacy and self-disclosure and closeness he s offering to the relationship. To allow him no closer to you and your home than he allows you to him. To have a private life he is excluded from. Maybe that is a boundary that will help you feel more equal with him.
