Settling In (LB55 Thread 3)

[LB55]

Kids are reading after a busy weekend before they have to go back to W. I’ve been reading too. Validation and non-defensive listening. I know I’m not good at validation nor empathy, but I’m hoping if I read about it enough and try to execute it on other people I might get better at it.

I feel like a validation expert after an hour of reading but I’m sure that I have a long ways to go. Makes me want to strike up a conversation tonight with W when I drop them off. It’s probably not a good idea, so I’m posting here instead.

Just something simple; like how was your week? Then just listen and not offer solutions, repeat back what she said to show I’m listening, eye contact(this is a tough one for me, I always look away quickly with anyone), and stay neutral, even if she is blaming and accusing. I don’t have to agree to validate.

These are scary thoughts. Why do I want to talk with this woman? She doesn’t want me. I’m still in fixit mode I think. Stupid nice guy stuff. I can’t fix her, but I sure do want to fix this marriage on this particular Sunday afternoon. I miss my daily family life so much.