I'm beginning to understand what you're talking about, the whole stepping back and examining my faults and W's faults (and both have many).
It's hard to see your spouse with the rose colored glasses off. I'm starting to do it now, and it's an eye opener. It's easier (for me) to honestly look at myself and pick out faults to work on. I kinda enjoy that. To be honest, I feel more alive now than anytime I can remember. Truly is "Use the Time Wisely" moment, it IS a gift.
