It seems we are in a similar place, though different circumstances. This place of trying to let go and not fight it - but learning that letting go has its own pain that changes each day. It's amazing to me the feelings of strength that can live simultaneously with the hurt.
I agree that it is difficult to come up with a new life plan when you thought you had a perfectly beautiful path ahead of you. I have dubbed 2019 my "Year of Yes". I'm making lists and doing things I never have before in an effort to find this new path for myself. I hope you find your new potential paths and say "yes" to something new every day.
You're doing great, despite the hurt and how hard it is. Continue looking ahead and don't turn around to see if H is still there. If he wants to be on this path with you he's gonna have to do some running to catch up.
