Well I got some yard work done today, cleaned my car, etc. I wanted to get the backyard cleaned up as side to not finish the whole thing and make a whole entire day out of it. I feel kind of guilty and I'm beating up on myself for not finishing the whole thing. I'm leaving for a work trip for the week Monday. Here's what I'm struggling with right now. But I have my time to myself in the house I want to spend some of the with my son but on the other hand I want to get the hell out of the house and party and get the hell away from the W and GAL as much as possible now. The question is where one with who? I feel guilty because I'm not finishing the things I should be spending my time on, like house and packing priorities. But I also feel as if I don't live a little while go insane just being here. It's almost like before I was always motivated to get things done because of what the home and the marriage stood for . Now that she wants to sell the house and doesn't want to give me a say in it, other than I can't probably afford to buy her out. My mindset is if they can do this to you once while given the chance to do it to you again in the future? Im 99% ready to pull the trigger and say F@$k it! Anyone else struggle with this? With a guilt of not doing enough, because you just need to get away and enjoy life, because of all the emotional chaos these situations are causing us? Every time I have to do yard work it's takes so much labor and effort that I get really resentful towards the W and I know that's on me. But the way I see it she helped me with it maybe a handful of times and seven years and made her shows and her games and saw more of a priority. It's funny how they complain they never get enough help but yet when we wanted and complains to get it we're emotionally abusive?
