SoTorn, I am sure you DB the heck out of it. And yet you still ended up d. I know this program is about making ourselves a better person but I also don’t want to be divorced. I know it’s out of my control but it’s not what I want. I know it’s not what anyone wants on here, that’s why we are here. I just wish I read more success stories on here how it worked. I definitely need more patience. It’s just that things are moving along with the d. I am trying real hard to GAL, detaching, and 180. At least on the surface it looks like it has no effect. She is still in full MLC, going bar hopping, only talks about herself, buying new clothes all the time, dressing much younger. Sometimes I have to laugh, she talks about how hard it is with the kids, (I validate when she talks) how much money she has to spend on everything (again I validate). At one point she got off Facebook for a little while because she said she hated everyone. Basically meaning how her life was terrible and everyone else had a great life. Again I validate. It’s just funny and puzzling to me how she sees the struggle but doesn’t see she has created all of this. That in her warped mind she thought d was suppose to solve all her problems.
I am still BD. Yes my M is over, but I am ok with it. Its a marathon and not a race. My EXWW wanted her new life without me so badly that she finally filed and we are now D. Thats ok with me.
Just remember that if you have hope and you want it to work, keep shining that light on the path. I stopped shining the light. I did that because I dont want to be with a woman that thinks its ok to have sex with other men while married. Plus my EXWW was extremely hateful to me. She honestly pushed me away with her continued behavior. Her behavior diminished my love and care for her. Someone who treats me so badly doesnt deserve me or my love.
My EXWW showed zero remorse. She still blames me and justifies her actions based on her false perspective of who I am. My EXWW has no idea who I am. She never stopped to see who I am now. Thats fine with me.
You are the only one who can decide how long you will hold onto hope. How long can you take this? I wasnt going to waste any of my valuable life waiting around to see if my EXWW would come around. BD did help me. It helped me find myself and find my balls.
My EXWW actually got to the point where she is now angry that I didnt fall on my face without her. I am fine on my own. This doesnt fit her model of what was supposed to happen to me.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
