You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
I've lurked here since shortly after BD.....read a lot here....
I'm just hoping to find some encouragement. I don't have many friends local to me, despite being social.... W really is not social except with work-related colleagues... so haven't made friends.
I've met w/ic and unbeknownst to me, W has been for nearly a yr. We had seen MC before, but same story focusing strictly on my gunk. No violence, PA, EA...just huge emotional destruction.
Anyway, thanks for having a platform to connect to as i begin this next chapter of life. I am just.... well i suppose you understand.
Awakened
M-19, T-22 M-53, W 44 D15, S13 Separate BRs 02/2018 (during and after I had pneumonia) W (left separation - no A) - ? ~ 05/03-09/2019 BD 05/16/19
Dont be too quick to dismiss cheating! Especially if it helps your legal case.
Im in the opposite situation. She isnt leaving but shes already gone emotionally. Even so, youll get better in time as long as you dont let it kill you.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
Yes, i've been doing the sobbing thing....hyperventilating, etc. I rec'd the BD while at work just checking pers. e-mail. I was still dealing w/ her leaving with the taking the kids (which resulted in the same sobbing, etc the BD did).
At the BD, I immediately jumped out of my chair and reached out to my three closest friends (two are out of state). Chatted briefly w/one as i tried to settle down. Went back to my office ignorantly thinking i would complete the tasks ahead of me - ha! - that was a 'no chance Charlie' assumption! Hands were shaking so bad i couldn't type.....
I wrote a brief note for my boss who was taking a webinar interrupting her with it's urgency. She immediately pulled off her headphones. We stepped into a conference room and i spilled my guts and sobbed. She began to cry as well and hugged me (no attraction - she's like an older sister). We prayed and she pretty much told me to go home, not to worry about the tasks and not to come in on Friday. Yeah, re-started the sobbing....
I had, thankfully, set an appt., with an ic for that day. I went in to the appt., very raw. The ic was very helpful and especially after he had read the initial note and subsequent BD.
W said she will not return home until i have left the house so i'm reeling from the reality of that.... i think i need to vomit...
I'm not angry at my stbxw and completely admit/'own up', apologize for my part of the years of ugliness btw us. Ultimately, i will continue on with getting the help i need. Hopeful, maybe, for re-unification, but I really cannot see it.
M-19, T-22 M-53, W 44 D15, S13 Separate BRs 02/2018 (during and after I had pneumonia) W (left separation - no A) - ? ~ 05/03-09/2019 BD 05/16/19
Dont be too quick to dismiss cheating! Especially if it helps your legal case.
Im in the opposite situation. She isnt leaving but shes already gone emotionally. Even so, youll get better in time as long as you dont let it kill you.
Thanks Oops13!
I appreciate your suggestion with keeping an open mind. However, there really is no way - that just isn't part of her character make-up (nor mine).
Is it Nietzsche who said something like that which does not kills us makes us stronger? I don't believe that quote is copyrighted, but if so....sorry to the Mod(s)!!!
I'm definitely in the "seek out support and contact with other human beans" mode!!! Even utube is something!
Again, thanks for the encouragement - i'm drinking it in!
Awakened
M-19, T-22 M-53, W 44 D15, S13 Separate BRs 02/2018 (during and after I had pneumonia) W (left separation - no A) - ? ~ 05/03-09/2019 BD 05/16/19
W said she will not return home until i have left the house so i'm reeling from the reality of that.... i think i need to vomit...
DONT leave your house until you are ordered to do so by a judge.
Fight for visitation with your children.
Cadet -
Thank you for this!!! I just read about that very thing this morning.
W said she wants this to be amicable which i believe, but want to protect myself as well. We are both deeply committed "participants" in our faith and i do believe she doesn't want this to be bloody, but....i don't want to be on the loss-side of anything (especially as pertains to seeing my children).
Awakened (name chosen specifically to identify me as coming out of profound apathy)
M-19, T-22 M-53, W 44 D15, S13 Separate BRs 02/2018 (during and after I had pneumonia) W (left separation - no A) - ? ~ 05/03-09/2019 BD 05/16/19
