I haven't followed the prescribed advice exactly in terms of boundaries because I'm trying to keep an air of normalcy while I collect evidence, but there's really so much comfort in detaching. The more I've let go the better I've felt. I'm almost to the point of indifference now and it's so much easier to function day-to-day. I'm almost excited about the next person if that time comes.
Sounds like you're doing well! I'm still new myself, but your last post reads well and is motivating.
Last edited by oops13; 05/17/1905:11 PM.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
Oh.... one thing which is very curious to see and not just read about..... she's dressing like a teen (not always, but it's happened a few times). Such a fascinating process.....
Part of your change should be dressing like a man. Not a boy. Dress with style.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ever since I dropped weight I have been dressing very nice. Chinos, nice shoes I.E Aldo, nice button up shirts with rolled sleeves. I used to dress in t shirts, jeans and Nikes. I also bought a few fitted suits.
I was actually accused of being "vain" by the EXWW because I dress nice now.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
I agree, its when they commit themselves to their EA or PA. All the red flags come up. You can literally search online for "Infidelity Red Flags".
You will start seeing them because its a script.
I saw the following changes starting in March 2018
Hiding the phone Obsession with exercise Obsession with looks Change of hair style Synthetic Nails Fake Eyelashes Change of grooming habits (started shaving it all off down there when she would never do that for me when I asked) Hiding the phone like crazy Hiding her laptop like crazy Coming home late Sitting in her car in the garage late to talk on the phone (OM lives out of state with his wife, kids and grandkids) Finding reasons to leave the house (I followed her and found her talking on the phone in her car at the gas station) Increase in traveling for work (OM is her boss) Ignoring me while traveling (used to talk to me all day in text and every night before bed) Increase in alcohol consumption (Went from a glass of wine every few days to two bottles per night) Changed clothes (started buying cocktail dresses instead of business attire for work trips) Started leaving earlier for travel and coming back later, I.E leaving Sunday Morning when work meeting was Tuesday. Coming back the following Monday when work ended the Friday before (used to make a point to be home on weekends and travel home immediately when she was done with work) Increase in younger/single/divorced friends (Made friends with divorced/progressive women from Yoga classes) Distancing herself from kids and I Getting mad when we questioned why she was traveling so much (travel went from once every few months to every other week for a full week) Removed herself from my credit card as authorized user (This is a biggie, they separate their finances) Started putting me down all the time Started telling me I was worthless Started telling me I was smothering her Started telling me she needed space
Boom BD, ILYBIDLY Boom confirmation of PA
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Is it universal that these MLC'ers will not go to church? I'm really surprised how absolutely against going she's turned... it's very very shocking. If I was in crisis, I'd be running to church.
Does this also mean MLC'ers stop praying? I haven't seen my W pray since this started and now that I think about it..... not for a long time before either.
