Settling In (LB55 Thread 3)

[LB55]

Just out of curiosity.... when does this ugly behavior start? Immediately after the BD?

I'm on guard for it, and I see reading everyone's post and they all reference it....... when did it start for you LB?
Sounds to me like you're doing really good and staying strong in a really demanding sitch.

-SoloFlex

Thanks for the encouragement, I am doing the best I can, whether I am personally good, that might be debatable some days anyway. :-)

I can't say for sure when it starts. I was gone with the military, when I got home, everything was my fault, I couldn't do anything right, our history was completely twisted around, and she filed for D. I was given papers by a courier in a gas station parking lot when I got off the airport shuttle where she was supposed to pick me up. Complete with restraining order, 3 days before Christmas. I didn't get much warning, lets say that.

As for nasty behavior now, 5 months later, it is pretty much a guarantee when she doesn't get her way. When I don't agree to her demands, or when I am not able to help her by leaving work early, or when I sit in the stands at little league looking 'mean' and my son strikes out; all my fault and its not really determinable what strikes the mood sometimes.

Nothing is rational, the reason she has no money is because I don't pay her enough, not because she spends a lot, refurnished the whole house, hired a bunch of work done, bought all new clothes, etc. Me having a job that requires me to stay until the end of the day is not convenient for her when she makes plans and im supposed to pick up the kids after work but she makes plans that start before the end of work.

Its a no-win situation until the WW takes some responsibility in the situation in my opinion. Im not there in my situation, we are stuck at 'everything is my fault because I did all of this to her' stage.