If you can't beat em, cheat em (thread 2)

[oops13]

Still kicking today. Not a lot to update other than feeling good getting some sun on my skin and feeling optimistic about the future. I'm working on letting go of any fear. I don't really have much that I'm not okay with losing, including my marriage. It's a strange sensation but working on myself so much has taken me to a place where I'm okay. I've GAL to the point that I'm almost too busy. I think right now the hardest part for me is the impact to my libido. It's basically dead. I'm having trouble being actually attracted to other women at the moment because, despite everything, physically I had come to adore my wife, flaws and all. I wanted her more than even much more attractive women. I know that will pass, but it's frustrating for now. When I do think about her and if I want to reconcile, I'm just so disappointed that she's the kind of person that would do this. It really helps me not want her very much.