InLove, please understand, that those of us chiming into your sitch are trying to HELP you. We aren't trying to argue with you and make you hate your H, or want S or D. Or anything like that. We are simply trying to get you to see through what we call the "LBS fog" (we all were there once), to try to see your sitch objectively and realistically.
One of the ways I like to tell LBSs to think about this is to step back and look at your sitch as if YOU were a friend of yours. What would you tell your friend to do? How would you advise your friend? What things would you point out to them? This is difficult exercise (because we are too personally invested into our own sitch), but it can be very useful. This forum is full of LBSs that take their WASs words too truthfully and literally. That think that the reasons that the WAS has given for wanting out are true and right. That their spouse was wonderful and everything, and that the LBS's life will be over if they can't save this thing at all costs.
But in truth, very little of what they say can be believed. The reasons they point to for why they are doing what are doing, while maybe a smidgen of truth, are not WHY they are doing what they are doing, it is an excuse. And even then it DOESN'T excuse their behavior at all! Because a LBS isn't perfect doesn't give the WAS the right to break their vows. And finally, he may have been a good H before, but he wasn't perfect. And you are way too attached if your happiness is in his hands. And believe it or not, no matter what happens, you WILL be okay.
Hang in there. Keep posting. Feel free to take all the advice you get and do with it what you will. Listen to, ignore it, but understand it comes from a place of wanting to help by applying everything we've all learned from our own sitches and from others' sitches, and wanting to share that with you.
Lastly, sometimes LBSs are a lot like teenagers. If they'd only listen to those with experience their lives would be much smoother, and they'd avoid a lot of mistakes. Unfortunately, many of them have to make the same mistakes we all have already made, to learn the hard way.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
