Sorry a bit more... looking back there were warning signs. The handholding awkwardness was clearly one of them. Maybe my W thought every attempt to initiate affection would lead to me wanting s*x. It just wasn’t true. Sometimes she said “you wouldn’t be satisfied with every day” at a time where we would go 2 months between. Then out of the blue she would say “you are so cold and distant it really [censored]” and then storm off. Yeah I was defensive. But I tried to understand. I read about NVC and EAR listening and tried. I got frustrated sometimes at the complete lack of traction.
I don’t know... physical touch is my LL. If that ends up being the root cause of my D so be it. I have wondered if I should just stay happy in all other ways but forego the physical touch aspect of my M. Why break up what is otherwise a good thing? But I don’t want to live without touch. Yeah it’s not a substitute for feeling loved but it is a fundamental need. It’s okay for me to want affection in my M.
