We had a pursuer-distanced dynamic. I felt neglected. I’d say 2 times I went too far with the pleading when W clearly wanted me to stop. Then some other times I would want to talk about our R, she would distance, and I would get kind of emotionally histrionic. One time I had to go to a separate room because I was crying around my kids. Not proud.
The handholding stuff came in MC afterwards. But yeah as much as I regret the things I did, especially when it spilled over into emotional abuse, I do feel like we had a complete communication barrier that exacerbated things. I dunno - again I know that’s a classic excuse but.... one time I just literally wanted my W to tell me what she wanted. And she said I just want to go to sleep. She never told me. I feel like a little communication would have helped, but also I need to own that my issues and resulting actions were in several instances very hurtful and wrong.
