Hi Nyla79.. I am also a newbie on here... Our stories are so similar..... My H told me was trying to be happy for the past few years.. basically all our married life, I must have been blind because I certainly didn't see that one coming... He also moved out and we had little or no contact for 6 months..Until last week.. He has been in contact with OW since he left, he has been abroad with her on 2 occasions that I know of...He swore to me on Saturday last, he was not in a relationship, it is only casual and that he doesn't want a relationship!, she is a ''distraction''...He is going to counselling, which I am beginning to think is only a smoke screen.. For years he wanted a camper van.. and last year we were in financial position to get one.. He designed the lay out inside and really put a lot of work into it... We got the van last June and he left in August!!!He was ''unhappy'' all along and getting the camper was him trying to be happy!! I now have the van, and when I said he couldn't have the van when he wanted because I wouldn't know what he would be doing in it.. He did not like it... It is very obvious he is still very much in replay and not thinking about the consequences.. But I am now starting to accept what he says he wants and move on.. I meeting with a psychotherapist next week and I am upskilling, which will be a my ''distraction''... Their behaviour is baffling..it is hard to get your head around the fact that this is the man you married... Will he ever come out of it.. I dont know... But I am 9 months on and nothing has changed... ''you didn't break him, so you cant fix him''!
