Update, hubby told me that we need to sit down with the lawyer and draw up a legal separation, not divorce. He said he's been thinking a lot lately and wants to try to build a new marriage. I went ahead and asked him what his intentions were with our relationship and the visit with the lawyer. He said he's starting to see my changes, but he said we both have a lot of work to rebuild. I am reading the book still and hoping that it gives me some ideas on that end.
I'm a little confused on why we can't just stop the divorce proceedings period. He said that he loves me and that he won't find another person like me. He said he has a lot of work to convince the bio mom. He didn't say what would happen as far as living situations, but he still wants to sell the house (I think). He hasn't communicated a lot about our future, but he has told me a lot of his own feelings and how special our relationship is to him. He told me he is still very attracted to me and he still loves being with me. He did tell me that he thinks things will be better for us and that we can build an even better marriage than before.
Should I trust this?
No no NO you should't trust it!!!! Do I need to remind you that less than 24 hours ago you posted this?
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He is playing games. Doing push-pull. He hugged me the day before yesterday: twice. Yesterday, I left to get us coffees, and as I was leaving he said "I love you." Speaking of our best couple friends, he said if you see them before I do, say "hello." But, I mean, you might not, so. This is the only time he has referenced our old life together. But then, no hugs this morning. Still slept on the sofa. Still stayed away from me for the most part, physically. No real references to us other than that. I just don't get him.
And this?
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I know I go back and forth, but why would I want to be with someone who abandons a 23 year relationship? What happens if I feel like this/ I'm trying not to show it, but after spending 2 days hanging out with him, I'm just getting even more mad. Like I'm starting to wonder why I'd even want this man.
Sorry but you were right the first time, he's playing games with you. You are Plan B like Steve said. Your instincts right now are to run back to him with arms open wide. I promise if you do you are just going to get BD'd all over again, and probably sooner rather than later. This happens a lot, especially with men going through MLC. They'll have a "false epiphany" and tell the LBW things that a day later are gone and forgotten. Your approach should be to tell him that you both need time to process this. Set boundaries, such as requiring that he go through IC and MC before you will consider reconciling. Then MAKE HIM DO ALL THE WORK. There have been quite a few stories here where LBW's let their WAH back too quickly and they left again a week or month later, and things were far worse after it happened.
