I'm currently reading the book, and I'm curious as to why many in the forum focus on appearing to move on from the spouse. I haven't made it that far in the book yet, but it seems to me that this may be a huge misunderstanding. She seems to be saying that you work on your own issues but are very clear about what you expect from the marriage. I was adamant that I did not want a divorce. I know my husband and if I appeared to move on, he would as well. He's way too stubborn. That being said, he did say that he noticed positive changes in me and that he thinks that I am making real changes and he would like to as well.
I have been hanging out with friends, reading books, going to counseling, and doing things to work on myself. However, I did set boundaries with the cameras, the heater, and the coming and going in the middle of the night. I told him that I could just move out and we could deal with each other through the lawyers, he'll get his divorce, zero contact, because I wasn't going to live under the gun, and that very day he started to turn around a bit.
