I'm currently reading the book, and I'm curious as to why many in the forum focus on appearing to move on from the spouse. I haven't made it that far in the book yet, but it seems to me that this may be a huge misunderstanding. She seems to be saying that you work on your own issues but are very clear about what you expect from the marriage. I was adamant that I did not want a divorce.
InLove, when someone comes to you, says they are leaving you and want a D..........what is the alternative? The book says to focus on what you can control: YOU.
Look, I know you are struggling with this. This is all counter-intuitive. Lots of LBSs struggle with DBing. But guess what, it is a proven fact that pressure and pursuit have almost no change of working. The alternative is move forward by GAL, and detaching. IE giving them the space they are asking for.
Originally Posted by InLove42
There is absolutely NO reason for him to lie to me and be this open.
Originally Posted by InLove42
I have worried though because he says when they touch he feels an electric current. That does seem a little strange!
Can you tell me, how in your mind, objectively, trying to set aside all denial and believing what you want, those two sentences could coexist in the same post?
The second one pretty much blows the first one out of the water.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
