Dude - it's perfectly fine to feel this way. Scary as well.

None of us here are holders of some mystic truth nor custodians of the sacred rules.

Are you still seeing a counselor? Some of these things may best be discussed with a professional.

On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells