I’m a very straight shooter and unfortunately based on how these sitches are so scripted and by the book she is most likely going to D you. The problem most newbies have is they think that means game over. It doesn’t, you can absolutely recon after D and there is a high probability that if you do the work and fix your neediness you will get a chance to recon.
Just don’t be surprised that by the time this happens you are no longer interested.
LH19, I hear you loud and clear.
Re: Recon - It helps me to assume it is Game Over and give up on recon. I fluctuate hour by hour, but those times where I consider letting go of the rope completely coincide with peak PMA. This morning I feel great - had a weird dream that my W rolled over and cuddled me in bed, and I felt these warm, positive vibes. Then I woke up and I was angry with myself like... you can't just give in like that! You can only save yourself! And I felt good, really good.
Long-term... that person I want to become (resolving NGS, living in the present, owning my issues) would not accept recon without major changes by my W. We would need to rebuild trust and establish healthy communication, and develop skills to work through conflict as a couple. Is that going to happen? Probably not... I'm sure this is a familiar script here...
