So so new to this :(

[Nyla79]

Get a lawyer, get an order for temporary support, DO NOt make any agreements with him about finances until you have legal representation and advice.

Yes, it sounds like he's going through a midlife crisis but there's no guarantee he
ll come out the other side or when he will. If he feels you clinging he'll be even less inclined to come back. Get up on your feet and start living your life AS IF he's not coming back and you are pursuing your dreams. It doesn't mean he won't come back - but he's more likely to if he sees you out living your best life without him. If he thinks you are just waiting around as his PLan B he won't feel your loss - and he needs to feel that.

And - just one question - a big red flag - why on earth did you marry him after only 3 months of dating? Are there any clues there? Most rational people are not that impulsive - but love addicts go for that, and sociopaths may love bomb people like that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong BUT I also wouldn't be surprised if, as time goes on, you start to realize that your rosy perception of him during your marriage may have been glossing over some serious issues.

I was 20 years old and I was an aup pair in the States, my visa was running out in a few months and he wanted to porpose before that so that I wouldn't think it was because of the visa. We just went to the courthouse and got married and had the "real" wedding a year later. So, I don't think there's anything weird about that, we have been very impulsive in everything we've done together. Like moving across oceans on a few weeks notice.

So in that way him filing for a divorce impulsively didn't surprise me, but I thought that 20 years of history and 3 kids should weigh on the scale as well...

I've lessened contact with him now but because of the kids I have to have some contact still. I wish there was a crystal ball I could look into and know what the right thing to do is. He knows I'm here waiting (because I told him I would until I couldn't anymore) and I don't know how to make him feel that I'm not, without saying it. I don't want to lie either.

Everytime I hear from him I start missing him, and I have started to GAL. I joined the gym, I joined a choir, I've started to spend more time with friends and family. And I have moments when I truly am happy even in this horrible situation, but I still miss him, and our life together. He was also my best friend.