A Real Mess Pt.2

[si13]

Yeah, DBing is tough. Fake it till you make it is causing me to just stuff all this s*** down and I've had it.

Now I'm wanting a separation, especially since I think she's at least involved in an EA again.

I'm done in this toxic, fake, pretend, let's all just be nice but you want a divorce environment. I've been doing this for over 18 months and we've only moved away from MR. Counseling is over. I look like an a** just sitting here waiting for her to make her mind up.

I need some change, some space - to give her the f********** reality that she's asking for. I can't make you love me back. I'm not going to beg you to see our family through this. If you really want a D, then let's get on with it.

I'm spewing out frustration today - tired of watching the cake eating "until I can get full time work" BULL****.

I'm willing to do nesting at this point so the kids can stay home but she gets a taste of what is real. I'm really tired.