Louise I see this a lot with LBWs, more so than LBHs. They are "afraid". They are paralyzed by "fear". We had a poster that disappeared several months ago that was struggling with her "fear" of driving him further away.... of making him think she didn't care.... of everything.
LBWs that fear pushing him away, fear DBing, fear any action, will invariably let that fear make them stand still.
If you started dating a guy, and on the third date he said "Hey, I like you. But my therapist told me that I shouldn't see you anymore because I haven't been happy on these first three dates." What would you do? Probably go home, never contact him again, and block him on every communication method possible!
Yet you are afraid your H will be told the same, listen to it, but you would still want to hold on as tight as possible. That defies logic. And yes I know, you don't love a third date guy like you do your H. Love doesn't mean you throw logic and reason out the window. You can still love your H but tell him that if he is going to listen to a therapist that tells him to leave his marriage to hit the bricks....and don't come back no more no more no more.
Lousie, the final thing I want you to think about. You are young. You have lots of life ahead of you. However I'd hate for you to in 20 years look back and think "I wasted X number years of my life waiting for this guy!" Set a time limit. If he isn't all in by July of 2020, or some other time that makes sense, then I will close the door and not look back.
Take back control of your emotions, and of your life. Do not let fear rule you and cloud your reason. Do not be beholden to bad behaviors or decisions on his part in the name of "love". Think about, speaking of a crystal ball, the decision you would have made when you first met him if you could look ahead and see that he'd leave you shortly after a miscarriage. (My guess is you would have booted him immediately.)
Use logic and reason over feelings and fear.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
