I read your posts with interest because I can see my own thoughts a few months ago echoed eloquently within them.
You, like I, have peeled back the layers of our M to find it's a bit rotten / lacking underneath. This is why the vets tell us to give it time. To see the truth and assess the reality once the drama ha died down and the adrenalin isn't fuelling our thoughts and actions.
It was relatively easy for me because once I told him I wasn't taking part in his 3 way drama any longer, he ran for the hills. Absence helped with the clarity.
I agree with Dilly - don't rush into anything, don't force it.
I wouldn't have petitioned for D if I didn't have to protect myself from some very reckless financial shenanigans. I would have just continued to crack on with my life, married or not.
Just keep processing your thoughts and wishes and continue to separate those from his actions.
You're doing good!!
One of my kids said that he found it really hard when he met up with his Dad for a quick drink as Dad didn't have anything interesting to say and then reflected that the usual family dynamic had been me interacting with the boys and Dad sitting on the periphery ie 'one dimensional' Of course Hs version is that I was too dominant and he went along with whatever I decided. One man's submission is another man's boring!!
