Yes, I'm not in a mad rush. I'm just thinking that there's more to this than meets the eye. He is sick and exhausted and I feel sorry for him - I really do. But even if he returns to the way he was functioning prior to this project, I still don't want it. And if the change I need to be happy in the relationship is so radical as to alter his character, then perhaps that's a kind of emotional violence. I can accept him for who is his, detach and let go of my wish for him to be different. I can accept that in a few months once he's recovered he might well participate in life again - maybe - but I am not sure we're suited to each other any more.
I will be patient and where I can be kind, I will, and where I can't, I will just be kind to myself. I am spending today cooking seven evening meals for the freezer so he doesn't have to think about that while I am away. He is more than capable of cooking, but he's also exhausted and I like cooking and have a quiet day today so it's no skin off my nose.
