Soon to separate, Possible WAW

[Ready2Change]

Hey guys hoping for some quick advice if possible,

W texted me asking if I can help her pick up mattress she just bought. I have been very firm that I will not help her move out or into her new apartment. That I won’t help build furniture anything like that. Things have been really improving lately but I’m not sure if I should help her. My manly instinct is telling me to do it. Any advice is appreciated.

Instincts do not work. Logic works. What works is counter-intuitive.

When I was single, I had a lady ask me to buy her a drink. My reply was "Absolutely, After you buy me one." She said I like your style. This is about mutual respect.

What do you want her to do BEFORE you help with the mattress?


I do believe you already had plans. What she offers should be extremely tempting for you to have to cancel.

She made a comment after a couple minutes that I was only rubbing her back to escalate to s*x. (I was notorious for only being affectionate with her when I wanted s*x and otherwise wouldn’t bother doing anything like massaging her.) This was another thing of her laundry list so I tried to 180. I didn’t try to touch her sexually though and responded that while I would enjoy s*x, that wasn’t why I was rubbing her back. Not sure if I answered correctly but I guess my actions supported what I said.

I believe the response was acceptable. I would have went down the "shock"/humor path.

W:"You only rubbing my back to escalate to sex"
H:"Nope, took care of that earlier..Opps maybe I should go wash my hands..."

or more building tension light humour:

H:"Touching you does get me excited. If I get to excited, I will stop."