Sorry you are here. This is a tough emotional roller-coaster to be on.
So the cameras are down...good. He can't treat you this way. You need healthy boundaries - that makes you more substantial and attractive to him. Someone he needs to reckon with.
Why did you say "It's his house". Does it belong to him?
1) He're the thing - the more you chase, nag, pursue and talk about the relationship - the more he will pull away. It's suffocating him. He's going through some stuff with his biological mom, probably a mid-life crisis and unresolved issues with you. Go the book, The Divorce Remedy and read "The Last Resort Technique". You are supposed to do that when your spouse says they want a divorce. THAT's your strategy. It's giving him room the breathe, and helping you keep your dignity.
2) Take care of yourself. Do what YOU want to do, for YOURSELF. Don't worry about how it will impact your husband's perception of you. He wants to be with a woman who has a life and does not serve at his beck and call. Really he does.
3) See a lawyer as soon as possible, if you haven't already.
4) Whatever happens you'll be OK. Really.
5) He's got his own issues to deal with. The fact that he has a low paying job PLUS the nagging/belittling you mentioned has probably psychologically emasculated him. You can't make him happy or make him feel like a man. You can stop nagging. However, it's OK to state what you want.
