Hi all.....I am a newbie on this site and I am hoping that I am commenting in the correct area!!
I am 8 months post BD...Middle of August '18 my H gave me the''I love you,but am not in love with you'','' I dont feel happy''... I was just 2 weeks after a miscarriage after many failed IVF attempts (long story,but it is male related fertility issue)...... Naturally I felt like my world was falling apart after the mis, but then for him to just BD like that...I was devastated.... I now know he is in the middle of a MLC...after reading articles from Hearts blessing.....He met another woman before he left and obvouisly they connected because they have been in contact ever since...She too had just broken up from a relationship...She is younger than him...He projected for the first few meetings...saying there were many problems in the marriage..some I agree with...more were him just trying to justify his behaviour...He ran away from me,his pet and his home....I went silent from end of November last...only spoke once in January and the very odd text message related to something other than our marriage....He has been away twice with his this ''distraction''as he called her... Last Feb I text him for his birthday... He replied and told me is going to go for counselling... I felt very positive about this and happy for him.... It was another 6 weeks before he actually went...I was getting the updates from family and friends...he contacted me last week to meet and talk....We met face to face on May 11th after 6 months of not seeing each other... It was emotional and difficult.... He was emotional,but his decision still feels right to him...He is very much in replay... He assured me he is not in relationship,doesnt want one and this thing with the OW is very casual...he has been with other women also,so he tells me....acting like a teenager!!! He was very upset,telling me he loved and respected me and I was his best friend!!! How can he say that and then leave the house again...He is living around 20 miles from me...He hates where he is...but not enough to want to come home......... My heart broke all over again when he left... I hated him leaving....he text me telling me it was great to see me and he will continue counselling and see ''where it takes him''.... I know I need to let him go....it is so hard.....I text him today,to see if maybe we opened up our lines of communication would it be easier..He replied saying he doesnt know,he will continue counselling and meet again in a few weeks...He doesnt want to commit to anything,just give me false hope....I am going to let go of the emotional rope and leave him off...because I beleive he is keeping me on a leash until he decides for sure what he wants...Please any nuggets of wisdom out there?
