About 2 weeks ago I considered giving her a simple card. Something along the Iines of: "I care about you, and I'm here for you. I hope we can work to repair and heal things and I want to do my part." Better judgment kicked in and I tore up the card.
One thing I can promise you, SHE KNOWS YOU ARE THERE FOR HER AND YOU CARE ABOUT HER.
Originally Posted by unchien
I returned from a work trip about a month ago with a simple gift, and she not only said "You don't have to get me a gift" but said it several times.
You are not listening to her. She doesn't want you to buy her gifts because it makes her feel guilty that she doesn't have feelings for you right now.
Originally Posted by unchien
Before things eroded, I used to stop at the store sometimes to bring her flowers. She would respond frustrated that I didn't tell her I was stopping at the store because I could have also picked up groceries.
Why would you keep doing this when she responded this way?
Originally Posted by unchien
Attention doesn't seem like what she wants right now either.
DING DING DING we have a winner! Give her time and space.
Originally Posted by unchien
I guess I feel like I'm waffling between 2 extremes and maybe there is some middle ground. Maybe she read my apology letters as this extreme over-the-top out-pouring, and then I went full DB the past couple weeks. Time and space could be read as punishment. I don't know. .
Now you are just making excuses to pursue her. Again you are not listening to her and only care about your needs.
Originally Posted by unchien
I would hate to look back and regret that I didn't do more to try to reconnect, especially since this erosion has been going on for months, but I just don't know how to do that.
Look man, I know this is extremely difficult for you right now and you are trying to do the right thing but unfortunately you are very needy and are making things way worse. If you don't start taking the advice given here your situation may reach a point of no return.
If you love her and I truly believe you do. Give her time and space to sort out her feelings. She has to choose to want to be with you. You cannot reconnect with her right now.
