You have been given excellent advice by all of the posters.
Your wife may not be having a physical affair, but she could very well be having an emotional one. Someone may have crossed her path and paid her a compliment or spoke to her and she opened up to them about the fact that you travel quite a bit and she's lonely when you are gone. If she is in crisis, she is "ripe" for an affair and you can't rule it out, i.e., especially the way that she is behaving.
As for moving out...sounds to me that she's been thinking about it for a while. She needs to understand that if she wants to move out, she needs employment so that she can pay her own living expenses. If you want to gift her the money for the first month/last month's rent, then do so w/the understanding that you will not pay for her living expenses once she's out of the house. Any "heavy lifting" for the move should be done by her. She needs to experience the loss of her former life and what she can expect in the days ahead if she should go through the exercise of moving.
Has your wife every lived on her own before?
Don't be too hasty in jumping through hoops to keep her happy. When people do this, we call it pretzeling. If she's unhappy w/you or something else and you get a list of those things that make her unhappy, you then attempt to fix them. Once they are fixed, she'll come up with something else. She's just very unhappy w/life right now and until she realizes that happiness comes from within, she'll continue to search and experiment w/all sorts of things. As each experiment becomes dull and boring, she'll toss it aside, just like a child w/a toy that no longer interests them.
For now, keep the focus on you. Find things to GAL and do them. Go out once in a while for a coffee or something else, i.e., be a bit mysterious and if she sees that you are happy and doing things w/o her, she might become curious.
Detachment takes time, but it will come when you truly focus on yourself. You will need to dig deeper for patience and when you sit quietly, the answers will come. Do not be too hasty in suggesting a divorce...unless you are ready to cut all ties and have met someone and want to move on w/your life. Try to remember, you didn't break her, therefore you can't fix her. She has to do the work to fix herself.
I understand. I think she could be open to an affair but I doubt she is having one since I donīt know how she would have time to do so. I would have assumed she would be on her phone a lot and hiding it from me which she isnīt. Again, I could be wrong but I donīt see those signs.yet.
To clarify, she does have a job she really likes. She likes her co workers and all but it doesnīt pay enough for her to move out. Where we live it is next to impossible to find a rental apartment and she couldnīt afford to buy one either. So her only choice is to move back to her home country with her parents. She has a lot of debt from when she was burned out after her previous job so she is paying that off for the next couple of years. As you notice, I donīt pay her debts or anything like that for her. I am generous but not that generous. Before she met me, she lived on her own for 7 years.
Thank you for the advice. I wonīt ask for a divorce at the moment. I will wait and see how things progress
Oh and need to add, she mostly traveled with me for my business trips until this started.
Me: 38 Stbxw: 35 No kids Mini bd: February 6, 2019 ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019 Told her to move out: September 8, 2019 W moved out: September 28, 2019 Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
