Well I guess I am currently a bit scared of the unknown.
Fear of the unknown is definitely a big part of what we all go through. My way of dealing with that was this- I searched back in my past and thought about the things I had always been worried about and asked myself A) if worrying had changed anything about it and B) if my worrying was justified, IE- had the things actually happened. It was a big fat "nope" to both. Then I asked myself what life-changing things had happened to me, like BD, and whether I had ever worried about those things. Again- nope. So basically I worried about crap that wasn't even going to ever be an issue, and the stuff I should have worried about wasn't even on my radar. Conclusion- life is unpredictable, there's no point in worrying about things. Just take life a day at a time and when it throws bad things your way then deal with them as they come.
I also have a completely different approach towards planning for the future. I had concrete plans before BD that of course were completely flipped upside down after. So I have a plan now but I'm mindful that my plan needs to remain flexible because you never know what may happen.
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I am still in the gym 5 times a week, I am running, I am playing golf and I am socializing with my friends.
Awesome!
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Still spinning occasionally with above mentioned stuff. Things we were supposed to do now, that we were finally able to, and now she is off doing that with someone else.
Are you really spinning, or is it just upsetting you a little? It doesn't sound like you are spinning, it's not displacing you from your path like it might have months ago. Being upset is perfectly fine and normal, own it! Let yourself be upset, process the feelings and keep moving forward.
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I lost most of my social circle when I became depressed, and I am realizing that I need to make new friends and reactivate old ones. Thats definitely hard for me. Most of our mutual friends have continued to socialize with my ex and her new OM, and since I am single, well I am just not that much fun on couples nights, so most of those are not someone I talk to much or do anything with these days.
After BD it helps to make some new friends and get back in touch with old ones just to keep your mind off things. But once you heal and move on then you may not feel the need for that as much and that is OK. I did a ton of socializing after my XW left, but don't do nearly as much these days. When I have downtime I tinker with sculpting which I enjoy immensely even though it's a solitary activity. Do what works for you. I am all for pushing yourself outside your comfort zone after BD, but you're nearly a year past that so you're probably settling into your "new normal".
