I bet you can't even load the dishwasher correctly.
If you put the plates on the left side, they belong on the right side. If you face them inwards, they need to face outwards. If you rinse off the plate before loading, you are wasting water. If you don't then you are contaminating the dishwasher.
O, by the way, never put the dark plates next to the white ones, your wife will criticize you. LOL
Haha thanks ready, it’s always great hearing your judgement! Glad I handled that R talk well, it definitely seems like W is having increasing attraction lately.
Originally Posted by Gekko
Your W may have anxiety issues that are the basis of her controlling behavior. Do a google search and youtube search on "anxious wife" and similar terms and you may find some helpful information.
I also think you should do a google search on "sh_t tests", where you will find lots of helpful information and insight. It sounds like you are a lot like me, in that you do not put up with much BS, and you have a good foundation to build on when dealing with BS from the W, so a lot of the tips you will find will come easy to you to employ.
Harsh criticism is a relationship killer. It starts a domino effect or chain reaction of bad interactions that much of the time leads to D unless the cycle is broken. All you can do is your part. There are lots of resources here and on the web that you can tap into to get more ideas on how to deal with your W's constant criticism. Pretty much everyone agrees - don't get emotional and don't get defensive, explain or rationalize. Do ignore, or act amused, smirk or laugh, or agree and amplify to a ridiculous level.
Good luck with your sitch, I will be following.....
Hey Gekko, Thanks for the advice, I have been pretty good at not showing emotion to these criticisms. I am an expert at the ignore, and started practicing the laugh it off a lot today.
Man you hit the nail on the head, My W has anxiety and while it is better lately, there were years where she had multiple panic attack’s per day. Most likely due to a severely alcoholic mom and no father growing up. I never knew how that manifested in relationships but a lot of things make sense now after reading about it.
Haha that’s funny you mentioned shyt tests because today I got drilled with like 50. I have always been really confident, in excellent physical shape and easy on the eyes lol. That combined with my emotional stability make these sh*t tests cake for me.
Today after work she hit me with a few about my appearance which I handled easily. “You think you look good with that toupee of a hairdo you got?”. “I could be bald and I would still be hot as sh*t”. No problem lol. After a few of these passed tests she got closer to me on the couch and started rubbing her leg on me.
I’ve been really PMA around her and she keeps testing that too, seeing if she can make me act sad or insecure. No luck yet. She asked me if we could go get frozen yogurt with our S. Doing stuff like this without a complaint is a 180 for me and she is moving out in 6 days so I want her to see my changes as much as possible until then so I agreed.
In the car she hit me with more shyt tests. We were kind of dancing to the radio, “Your dance moves are terrible”. Me: “you’re tripping, all the ladies love my dance moves”. I know sounds super lame and cocky haha but it reinforces my stability and confidence. After yogurt she suggested we go to the store to get stuff for S. I agreed, we did a lot of joking around in the store and she was laughing a lot and play hitting me. Did some 180s too.
By this point the shyt tests and criticism had stopped, I guess I reacted well enough already that she felt no need to continue it. It really felt like how we got along together a few years ago. Super weird and refreshing.
Finally we got home, I put my S to bed while W laid in bed. I joined her in bed and when I did she moved very close to me and put her leg over me. She started grabbing my stomach. I said “are you grabbing my almost non existent body fat?” Another confidence move. She play hit me and then started grabbing her own stomach fat. She complained about it a bit and I responded with compliments that she barely had any and that her stomach was so flat. Lack of words of affirmation was a big complaint of hers, and even though it was about appearance she seemed to really like my comments. This whole situation had a lot of intimate touching. Pretty crazy turn around from how she reacted to my touch and compliments like 5 weeks ago, she would have been disgusted and ran away.
So yeah anyway things are going very well it seems. W asked me to go out this weekend so we can have some drinks, we will see if she flakes or not. I’m still not acting overly interested. But we got 6 days till she and her mom move out, I feel things have gotten so much better that I wish I had more time with her in the house. Will be an interesting change in dynamics when she moves out. More later, thanks.
