IL, please don't start a new thread until your old one hits 10 pages. It is easier for us to track things if you stick to that. I've asked Cadet to combine this one with your old one.
Originally Posted by InLove42
I don't know his phone number, so I emailed him asking him to unlock the controls on our AC and to deposit money in the account where our bills are coming out. He ignored both messages over the weekend.
You need to protect yourself financially. If this keeps up then contact a L. It sounds like he's trying to "teach you a lesson".
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He started railing into me about how he was glad he was getting the divorce, how I am out partying with my friends, etc. (I hang out with my girlfriends and went salsa dancing a couple of times), how I spent the weekend away, and how I am trying to pick up men. I told him again that I am not wanting a divorce. He was angry and yelling at me. I said again, "I am not looking for another man, but you can't expect me to stay home. I do not want a divorce. I would prefer a separation. I love you." He slammed the door and took off.
Don't engage when he's in a mood like that. If he keeps it up then establish a boundary- say "I will not be spoken to in a disrespectful manner, if you can't stop this then you need to leave." If he doesn't leave then tell him you will call the police. If he still doesn't then call them. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THAT.
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I said it's so stupid. There's no reason we can't reconcile.
Quit saying things like that, you are putting pressure on him when you do. He knows you want to work on things, but he doesn't. So when you tell him you do you are basically saying "I don't care what you want, I want to work on things." That just increases resentment. Instead tell him "I don't want a D but I know you do and I will not stand in your way. I will respect your wishes on this."
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He gave me a hug at the end of the night and said he had a lot of fun, and he was glad we could hang out like this. (mixed signal).
Not really, it's just cake-eating and trying to "dangle the carrot" to make the D go smoother. Just work on your detachment and give things time, right now he's done but many months from now he may change his mind. Until then don't fall for all his silly games.
