Yes - I think winding my neck in and seeing what happens might be the better thing to do here. H can be pretty mean and sarcastic and belittling - and I don't like it - but Eldest gives as good as he gets and is pretty awful himself sometimes. H knows precisely what I don't like about his behaviour and want to change, and he knows that as I consider him the adult, I also think it's his duty to go first and improve his side of things without waiting for a change or contrition from Eldest. I try to have some compassion - he's obviously afraid - but I think it's pathetic and he can probably tell that I think it's pathetic even when I keep my mouth shut. But H will keep everyone fed and he will make sure the laundry is done and he has never, ever raised a hand to either of them. So it might be an unpleasant week for Eldest, but then again, he has a part to play in how poor that relationship is too, and he isn't a young child - he's old enough to learn to have some control over himself.
