Pre-over-reacting is HILARIOUS! It's very complicated, having a 3 person dance going on isn't it? It's complicated enough having just one other person to dance with! I'm glad you can see your role in this. I reckon leaving food and letting go of the situation when you're away is the perfect thing to do, I bet they both pleasantly surprise you. Having a parenting talk with your H sounds quite controlling and maybe NOT doing it would be a 180?
