Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[Rita]

Wow, Roist, there is a lot here and I will come back this weekend to answer it! Thank you!

I have a question for Job and anyone else.

I have reconnected with an old friend this past year, and he has been helping me through the legal stuff in the D and in my other court case. I have also been helping him with some writing stuff. It's fun of course, but also just really helpful. It is not a romantic involvement.

He has been trying for six months to get me to let him come over and talk to H about getting out. He has often made the point that H has never had to face another man and admit that he is bullying me and that he is destroying his kids by refusing to leave while forcing us to go through this and not helping me financially or around the house or really in any way whatsoever, and then brutalizing me in court. And I do think that this is true that facing some other men would be a good thing, but I have always resisted this from this particular friend for a variety of reasons.

My H's lawyer is playing hardball and they are so far not accepting any offer to get him to move out before the whole D is finalized. My H wants all his money and refuses to leave until I buy him out of house. I am asking for a year to work on a buy-out, but with some advance on his share during that year.

If they keep resisting, my L will file a motion to get sole use of marital residence ad litem but is trying to negotiate it first.

I was just wondering if my instinct is correct that a visit from this friend would probably do nothing because my H is an MLCer, not a rational being, and thus will not understand or listen or will blame it on me.

Or could it be a good thing for him to see that I have friends who are ready to protect me? Could it help at all to get him to leave?

Or is it bad because this friend is a man, and a very handsome masculine type who would clearly win a physical fight (not that there would be one, but I just mean he has a strong physical presence)?

Or could that be part of what could make my H realize he can't stay here bullying me forever?

I assume you will all say that I am out of my mind if I think this could have any good effect.

Honestly I would be really happy if a contingent of my guy friends from this board showed up at my door and told H to get the heck out before they made him get out! And I am talking about the full size versions, not the little ones I keep on my mantle to keep my head straight.

But I know that this has more to do with what I want than with what would actually work.