I think validation will be especially important in your situation. Your W feels unwanted, unloved, and I suspect she has felt so for a long time. You need to show her you are listening. Not trying to fix thing, not trying to swoop in and save the day. just HEARING her as a person. Please study-up on Validation (there is a thread).
This is one of the most important things you can do. Just understand her story. It is HER story. Relate to her feelings. Do not argue. Do not give advise. LISTEN.
Do not fear her emotions. Let her be angry. you may need to say these words more than once "I am sorry I hurt you". Sometimes followed by "I can't change the past"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
