In other news, work has been going well... we hired a new guy who I've been training. He's been through a divorce and of course had some $0.02 to put in, mostly sound advice.
She did respond to the questions regarding the separation agreement I sent her some time ago.
I sent her a few messages with additional questions...
Me: Are you opposed to adjust custody agreement in the future? I want to get into a position where I can take him every weekend.
W: I don't know
Me: What do YOU want for the custody arrangement then? (I only asked this because of the previous complaining of having him "all the time" then complaining of me not taking him enough...)
W: I'm not really sure. I don't know how S6 would do every weekend and then I wouldn't get him at all during the weekends.
Me: It could be something like 3/4 weekends each month, etc. I want to be there for him. Because we live so far apart it wouldn't be feasible for a 50/50 split (also because he may not adjust well, though when he's older it may be possible). I just don't want to limit my future time with him because it's not as doable right now.
W: I understand that
Me: The lawyer who will be working on this is out of town until the 15th so you've got time to think about it if you want.
W: Okay. I'm going to have an attorney review it with me.
Me: I figured you would, that's fine.
And that was that. My focus is really shifting entirely towards being there for my son as much as possible, relationship with her or not. I am going to talk with my attorney about the ability to set terms for future scenarios.
This past weekend I didn't have my son so I stayed busy from Friday night until Sunday afternoon basically.
Friday night a friend invited me to a bar to play darts and drink with some friends... I had a really good time and actually ran into an old friend from high school. I also found out I'm pretty good at darts about 2 beers in.. 3 is when accuracy goes back towards questionable... hah. Was seriously debating doing karaoke but decided against it. Maybe next time. While it was fun hanging out with friends and meeting some new people... I'm not really a bar type of person... would rather be home with W and S6.
Saturday morning I got up to help another friend move. One of my buddy's cousins were there, he was asking me questions about my work, family... etc so the topic of the divorce came up. He told me how he was separated from his wife for over a year, and in that time they both came to their senses and realized it was worth staying together. He said he had even gone so far as moving out and living with some other girl... etc. It gave me a bit of hope that with more time things will improve. Later I got some stuff for my mom for Mother's Day then went to yet another friend's house for dinner. We had some steaks, beers, and BSed for a good while. There was a storm that rolled through and while I was about an hour away, on the news it showed a tornado warning right over where my W and S6 are at... so I decided to send a text asking how S6 was doing with the weather there (he hates loud noises and sometimes freaks out). All I got back was a "he's fine." So went back to hanging with buddies. I figured I'd just make sure they're OK and all that.
Sunday I went to church, talked to the pastor a bit about what's been going on, did some laundry, then went to meet my mom/dad/sister/BIL/aunt/uncle/cousin for Mother's Day at an English restaurant before going back to my parents' house for dessert. Had a good time, didn't talk about the divorce stuff really at all. It's weird not being at family get-togethers with my W... but it's even weirder not having my S6 with me as well.
So yeah.. continuing to GAL, detach, hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.
One of my biggest fears is her wanting to move away with my son. I'm trying to get into a position to take him as often as possible which would make it more in favor of requiring him to stay locally. Plus all of his extended family is here as well. I was THINKING about adding some kind of verbiage in the separation agreement... but I suspect that would put her even more on the defense... and realistically she would need to notify the courts if she wanted to do such a thing, and I'd have some time to object to it. Cross that bridge if/when we get to it.
