What do you do if your W says that she wants MC to work on the MR, but doesn't know if it can be fixed? I always get the sense that she is just trying to break the news to me softly, but I have to admit that I am completely paranoid now.
Sh74, good question.
I get paranoid too. My case is a little different as we stopped MC in January, I asked to go back, and she is delaying for a few months and at the same time has detached heavily from our M. I may not get the BD in MC, but it's fairly clear to me that my W's goal is *not* to work on our M. There's a lot of anger and resentment coming from my W in the last few months. It sounds like your MR is not at that point yet.
Also given my history of seeking reassurance and pressuring my W, I'm not surprised she might consider MC as a way to break the news to me softly. At first I thought this may be her way of feeling safe. Now I recognize she might do this because she's so worried about my emotional fragility, that BD in MC may be the most LOVING way she can do it. Either way, I need to work on my emotional health and part of that is differentiation and not being so co-dependent on our M. I sense you and I are similar that way.
How is MC going so far? I defer to the experts here to answer your question... I keep waffling how to respond.
