That includes dating. I've been with the same woman off and on for about a year and a half now. She's divorcing, too, so we help each other thru the steps. I'm not a very good boyfriend. I do enjoy her company, but.... I don't make her a priority, don't really want to, and she knows it.
Hey Jim, good to hear from you! I don't think you're being a bad BF, I think it's healthy to maintain a certain amount of detachment. Makes you more attractive as well as less susceptible to being hurt. I do the same with my GF. I use a LOT of DB'ing techniques in our relationship. Listen and validate, give her time and space, emotionally supportive when she needs it and not pushy when she doesn't. From what she tells me it drives her a little crazy and makes her want to work harder at making me happy. She says it keeps her interest in me piqued. I am way, WAY more of the alpha male with her than I was with XW- the older, mature rock for her to lean on. She loves calling me "daddy". Your relationship doesn't have to look like the one you had with your W for it to be successful!
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On the upside, my kids, parents, brother, and his family have a beach house rented in June, so I"m looking forward to that. My girlfriend and I spent a week in Cancun last month. Financially, I'm doing well, and my kids seem to be really great.
