You should take this time and do the exact thing your W is doing and work on yourself. You give out this whoas me vibe on the forum (picture sleptrock from Flintstones), so if we can feel it your W can feel it. You have to stop reading into things she is doing.
Definitely set boundaries. Don't let her disrespect you in any way and don't let her undermind your parenting.
Do you have guy friends you can hang out with during this difficult time?
Thanks LH for the honesty. You are right I wallow and despair a lot. It was a tough weekend just because we were around each other so much, very high tension.
I do meet a good friend for lunch (we work at the same place) about once a week. I told him a few weeks ago what is going on. We are planning out some things to do outside work like a camping trip.