Right now I'm working NGS. Read that book and it felt like it was specifically for me. Took it to my IC and creating he is creating 'program' around the issues.
Also working on Shame, intrinsic value, and vulnerability. <- these are tough to do without W.. as she would be getting the 'actions'. But its still possible. Building strong, open (vulnerable) relationships with other men.
Why are these tough to do without your W? How did she figure into these personal areas? Would you explain what you mean she would be getting the actions? How is that different from showing 180's?
I think you are still wanting to sit down with your WW and explain why you were the way you were and how you will be much better in the future. It doesn't work with a wayward. She's way beyond caring why. Look, she does not respect you as a man, and you can't get her respect by explaining your issues. If you try to talk to her about your shame, vulnerability, etc.........it will only make her disrespect you more. Why? B/c her heart is closed off to you. She doesn't have compassion for you. She resents you, and you can't change it by explaining it away. She is not in the place mentally/emotionally to be positively affected by whatever you want to share about your new self discovery.
I think some of this comes after reading the book and wanting to make big changes in yourself, and most of all wanting to show your WW. If you want to change your nice-guy ways, then apply it to every area of your life.......not just the M. You don't discuss it with her, just do it. See, from day one, you've wanted to fix everything by talking. You still want to do what doesn't work right now. Maybe you've found a new subject, but you are still trying old methods that won't be effective with her.
If you really want to change, you can do it without discussing it with her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
