Persistent Endurance (Part 3)

[curtis7]

Just validate you son's feelings. Do not tell him that you hope it's temporary before your family gets back together. That will only cause him to get his hopes up that you will get back together.

Everything else sounds pretty good other then I don't like her cake eating by coming over and riding the horse every night.

LH, I understand what you're saying about my son, I need to keep his expectations low, just like mine. Otherwise, he could be even more devastated if his hopes get crushed.

I don't see the horse situation changing. I can't force her to take it elsewhere or for her to pay rent, we both own the property. If I make that type of demand I see her laughing in my face because I wouldn't be able to enforce any consequence. Also, I do get some benefits out of it in that I get to see my kids a bit more often while she is here and she helps in taking care of the boarder's horse.

Something else I wanted to throw out there for comment. For the past 2 years, my S8 and I have had a tradition of taking a summer vacation around the country to see baseball games in different stadiums. Last year, my D4 was very sad that she didn't come along, W said she picked up and played with a bat and ball while we were gone. This year, I'm not leaving D4 behind. Initially, one of my son's baseball tournaments was going to conflict with the dates we were considering in June so I had decided it would be best if we took a shorter trip and went to visit family in the Midwest and see some games there. My W was fine with me taking them.

Now, that particular tournament was cancelled, so I have a full week available. As such, I was looking at heading out West and taking the kids to drive the Pacific Coast Highway between Northern and Southern California while seeing some games and other attractions along the way. The question is do I ask my W to come along or just inform her that is where I intend to take the kids for vacation? Something along the lines of "W, I plan to take the kids to California for a week of fun and excitement, you are welcome to join us if you wish, let me know in the next few days as I will be finalizing travel arrangements."

The fact is the kids love her and they would enjoy going on a trip with both parents more. If I can be with my WW and do things with our kids as a "family" without having ANY expectations in regards to the situation, then I would just consider it to be co-parenting. I would offer this for the sole reason of doing what is in the best interest of the kids. Even though I fully expect her to decline the offer, I still feel it is worth asking the question. Thoughts?