Persistent Endurance (Part 3)

[curtis7]

My W had requested in an email Saturday night that I gather all of my financials and make a list of our assets and marital items with estimated values so we could decide by the end of the month who keeps what.

Get your list together, BUT DO NOT SHARE IT WITH HER!!

Flip this around. You do not have to send this message either. It is your thought process:

H:"W, I have no intention on drawing up such a list. You draw up the list. I will review. If I believe it is fair, I will agree. If it is not fair, I will give give you my changes."

Let her "Split the cookie" you pick the half you want to eat.

The first one in negotiation to "Name the price" loses. Let her name the price.

R2C, thanks for the great advice on how to address her demands. I was reluctant to assign values to any of the items to share with her. I will need to do this and keep it to myself to better understand how things could shake out. I know how to play poker and she will need to show her hand first.

R2C beat me to it but yes, make her do all the work. Does she really think she's in a position to make demands of you to escalate the D? No, that is her problem. I would not say one more word to her about it. If she demands again to know when you will send the list, simply tell her "D is not what I want, if you prefer to pursue it I will not stand in your way. But I will not be doing your work for you on this."

AS, I definitely plan to use that statement if/when she brings this up again. I would expect her to go ballistic at which point I will end the conversation and walk away. I will not stand in her way of D, but I will not hand over what she needs. If this is what she wants, she’ll need to do the work. Hopefully, she follows the path of other WWs that are notoriously lazy when it comes to taking the next steps.